Commandant Grump
Commandant Grump got a kick in the rump
when he started a big kerfuffle.
It snowballed into an avalanche of conflagratory tussle.
Hoofla, hoofla, blah, blah went the man.
With sympathy from sycophants,
he duped them with a scam.
They bought his lies, but failed to apprise
that losers never can win.
Commandant Grump got a kick in the pants
when the pigeons came home to rest.
The manure piled high from all of his rants,
and put Democracy to the test.
Commandant Grump was the Faux News candy date.
Righteous, contentious, baiting, lambaste.
He played the cards of religion and race.
Then cut off his nose to spite his face.
In a Fux Snooze professional news wrestling debate.
Commandant Grump said on the stump:
“I will make us great again”.
He bought his own lies, as truth will apprise.
Democracy is only as good as its citizens.
Commandant Grump had a horrible reek.
He stunk of bilious, sulfurous, bile.
Corrosive and caustic, he burned down the house,
trying to get rid of a scurrilous mouse.
Uprise, uprise!, loudly went his cries.
Make us glorious and great again!
The sad mistake is that we’re already great.
And losers can never win.
Modern Medical System
Welcome to the modern medical system.
Please listen closely
and make your selection from the following options.
Your call will be monitored for quality control,
and to coach our representatives.
Push the dollar sign on your phone after hearing the category
that best describes your needs or conditions:
Pill pushers, cookie-cutters?
condescending mother buggers?
Liver quiver, rave or rant?
Something in your underpants?
Genetically engineer your rear?
You would look fabulous dear!
Transfusions, care illusions?
contusions, confusions?
Fevers, aches?
rashes, cramps?
Maladies, remedies?
organ transplants?
Indescribable problems?
Not really sure?
Thanks OK!
If you have the money, we’ve got the cure.
Hang up if you want a doctor for free.
If someone’s dead or dying press the star key.
Twitter Is for Twits
Twitter is for twits, tweeting out for hits.
Twerps and Twopes, Twanks and Twomps.
Twittering in the swamp.
Like frogs and flies with twittering cries.
Like Twarks, Twinks and Twonks.
Who chomp, stomp, romp and tromp, twittering in the swamp!
Twitter is for twits.
It gives me the snits.
Instagram?
I thought that was the cocaine delivery man?
He advertises on InYourFacebook.
You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.
We’ll talk at each other all the time.
Look at all that show and tell!
Look at all those monkey shines!
Like monkeys like to do.
InYourFacebook, all the time, hurling monkey poo!
I learned all that on Twitter while sitting on the snitter.
Wondering why my post got dissed by the InstaFacebookTwitterTwits?
Tweeting peters, ranting ravers, tweeked on Instagrams.
YouTube, the autonomous boob tube.
Google Plus, schmoozing, wooing, brooding, tracking what we’re doing.
Pinterest for pin-ups.
Looky looky loo!
If you will looky me then I will looky you!
Tumblr, stumbling, grumbling, blogging, bumbling through.
Quora has a quorum, with lots of shticks to do.
Social media, I will plead to you, has a lot of good, and illness too.
Contagious STDs, Socially Transmitted Disorders, permeating through.
Interpolitical fractious fornication, where everyone get screwed.
Watch out for that social goo on you!
Beware of hurling monkey poo!
Oh goodness me, I must flee back to Walden Pond.
Away from all this InstaFacebookTwittering going on.
So Long!
